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                  Shaming of the True

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Shame is a feeling or a distress over guilt or disgrace. An early psychoanalyst felt that feelings of shame, doubt and guilt were directly related to our development as a child. His teachings and theories centered on the proper tasks as they related to growth and development. His belief was that the positive encouragement of a parent, teacher or coach would counteract these three attributes. Autonomy, or some sort of self-reliance, would offset shame and doubt. Initiative, or starting things on your own, was the character trait to counter guilt. A child who is encouraged to ask questions and play make believe is less likely to feel guilty about an active imagination or fulfilling the basic human need to know. There are several examples in the home, school or on the playing field when a child or student athlete will not completely understand some piece of instruction, but feel ashamed or guilty about asking for clarification. Had these particular student athletes been inspired in the area of initiating thoughts and activities he or she could have developed this important character trait. Likewise when a young child is allowed to explore and try new things, even if they are not ready, the feeling of self-confidence is nurtured. The universal example is the label adults have placed on the stage of development where this is prevalent—terrible twos. A child approximately two years old is gathering up steam for a run at self-sufficiency. They can now control their body waste and walk without the help of a walker or aid. This autonomy gives them the belief that they can do everything for themselves. Putting on his or her own clothes and shoes is a daily request of the terrible two year old. Additionally, please don’t try and feed a child who is convinced they can do it. You will get the tight-lipped head shake that is a potential mess. The parent now thinks the child is “being bad” and will sometimes “whoop that butt”. The person needing the butt whooping is the parent who has failed at understanding growth and development. The child is only being true to their nature of craving autonomy. Several corrections and discouragements later the child will grow to be ashamed of doing things on their own. The misguided discipline only creates doubt in the child’s mind as to what is expected. This behavior by parents, teachers and coaches alike is the basis of the term “shaming of the true”. The shame, doubt and guilt will continue throughout adolescence and young adulthood if the problem is not identified and corrected.

The scripture suggest that if you study, prepare and do your best, you need not be ashamed. This is an easy way to approach an adolescent who appears to be lacking initiative and or self-confidence. This is what allows them to be true to themselves. When it is time to examine or judge your work you won’t feel guilty about what you have produced. Confidence will shoot doubt out of the water and you can “just do you”. Whether the guilt trips or shaming is a result of ignorance or sadly deliberate, the parent, teacher or coach is the one deserving the punishment. Their specific responsibility in this instance is to first understand growth and development. Secondly, it is vital to know as much about your child, student or player to influence them and insist that they stay true to their character. The story that comes to mind is the one about the scorpion and the frog. They are both starving to death and the only food is across the river. The scorpion cannot swim and threatens to sting the frog if he approaches the water. The frog says to he scorpion that if he doesn’t sting him he will let the scorpion ride on his back and they will both live a long life. The scorpion agrees and hops on the frog’s back. Halfway across the river the scorpion stings the frog anyway. The astonished frog says don’t you know that we are both going to die. The scorpion replies that he learned at a young age from his father that above all else be true to your character, and with that they both died. The essence of the scripture teaches that if you prepare and do your best, God will certainly take away all shame as you apply the truth of His word.

                                                                                                       Fred Tudor

Fred Tudor is a eighteen year employee of the Cincinnati Public Schools as a Health and Physical Education teacher. He has been coaching at the high school level in Greater Cincinnati since graduating from Wittenberg University in 1979. His coaching stints includes stops at his alma mater Walnut Hills High School, Hughes Center High School, and from 1990 until present coaches at Wyoming High School. His church home is Cincinnati Bibleway Church in Madisonville, Apostles James and Grace Blue Pastors.

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